You know how the YNs want women who “haven’t been touched” or “haven’t been jaded” but the grown men will tell you that they prefer a woman with more experience cause they know they won’t have to teach ‘em how to please cause their experience done already made them capable of allllll the things he likes?
That’s how I’m feeling now with marriage.
Don’t even give me the man who’s never been here before.
Give me the divorced single dad. Where they either separated due to irreconcilable differences, or she cheated. Because then I can trust you.
I can trust that you’re more likely not to cheat AND I can trust you to walk away before things have to escalate. And when I know you’re capable of walking away due to lack of compatibility or needs being met or boundaries being crossed, then I can trust you when you tell me you want me. Knowing that you’ll stand on your word lets me know that when you choose me, you truly chose me. Not a warm body.
Most importantly, I know that you’ve been here before, and understand all that marriage is and requires. So, if you’re choosing it with me, you’re not taking that lightly. You’re not doing it just to do it. You don’t just want the experience because that’s what you’re supposed to do. And you’ll know how to show up. You have tools and resources at your disposal. At the very least, you know what not to do.
Z's Comfort Zone 