Think about it this way. Imagine you have just stayed up nearly all night in a disagreement with your significant other and when you woke up this morning, it caused you to have a crap day at work because you’re so tired. You’re crabby and everything is irritating you and you can’t get any of your tasks done or stay focused. That one hiccup in that one relationship has now impacted the rest of your life like a domino effect.
The thing about it is that there is only one person that you will spend the entirety of your life with.
It’s not your parents. They may bring you into the world, but they have lives too. They may leave you with a babysitter or with family so that they can go and do things that they need to do. Even if they wanted to spend every waking moment with you, keeping you safe, they have work. It’s not your extended family, who you’ll probably see every once in a while. It’s not your friends. Even if your roommate is your best friend or you hang with your best friend constantly, you’ll still go days without them.
It’s not even your romantic partner, or life partner if you call them that. Your spouse/partner/significant other, even if you’re joined at the hip, they might have work or they might have other family and friends that they spend time with. They have a life outside of you too. Even if they don’t and you both work at home together and like to do everything together, what about that one day where they had to run to the grocery store without you for 20 minutes because you were sick and needed medicine?
Even your children, you will raise them but eventually they start having their own lives, or as you continue to have your own life, you naturally spend time apart.
Do you know who you will never spend time apart from so long as your heart is beating and there is breath in your lungs? The person who you will always be around for every second of your life?
You cannot escape this person. Even that phrase that people use – every waking moment. Well, even in your sleep whatever you have going on with this person will impact your subconscious and manifest in the form of a dream, so even if your un-awake moments, you never escape this person.
That person is yourself.
You will spend 100% of your life with yourself. Now imagine if you spent more than half of your week in disagreements with yourself. This keeps you up at night resulting in you going to work crabby because you couldn’t sleep, because you were in turmoil. Imagine your relationship with yourself is so rocky that it’s impacting your health and wellness…
If that were another person, for example a romantic partner, would your friends and family be telling you that the relationship is not healthy?
If this were your friend experiencing that with their romantic partner, wouldn’t you be trying to get your friend to understand that they deserve better, and deserve to be happy?
So why don’t you deserve better?
Why don’t you deserve to make yourself the sun, moon, and the stars?
Why don’t you deserve to gift yourself and uplift yourself and treat the relationship as you would any other?
Your friends need to spend time with you, right? So you need to spend time with yourself.
You gift your significant other really nice, impactful, thoughtful gifts for special occasions, right?
So why can’t you give yourself a really nice thoughtful gift to celebrate your birthday, the day you were born?
Why can’t you give yourself a really nice, romantic, sexy gift for Valentine’s Day to celebrate the love that you give and receive?
Your world should absolutely revolve around you.
And I hope this adds some color to that euphemism that you have to put your oxygen mask on first before you take care of your child.
Put the oxygen back into the relationship that you have with yourself first before you overexert and pour into other relationships. If your relationship with you is in turmoil, that will only continue to impact everything else anyway.
At the center of your life, at the core, is you. And the relationship that you have with you.
Your other relationships will surround that core.
Those relationships should strengthen and complement that core relationship that you have with yourself, not supersede it.
Be in right relationship with yourself, first.
Z's Comfort Zone 